A Brief And Personal Story About Myself

10 Jan

Yup, I’ve been away for a while now. There has been some things since I last wrote, mostly related to the end of 2011: I finished the year with good grades, I’ve been resting for more than three weeks now (and by that, I mean sleeping 10-12 hours a day and going out and going to the pool and the beach) and I even had the chance to make my 2011 balance. Now we are in 2012 I have to get hands on the hardest period of study since I’ve began college, but it’s not as bad as it sounds, I couldn’t be more motivated since I’ll be graduating after that (and then you’ll have to call me Accountant Müller).

But today post it’s about something different. Today I went to Satsang after a while and I had a really deep meditation. In between, I had this full sense of awareness of this thing that has been running in my mind lately. And yes, it has something to do with men, you guessed.

A year and a half ago I was coming out. To most gay guys, like me, it might seem like the end of all your problems related to your sexuality and self steem. That couldn’t be a more mistaken concept. But forsure it gets better. Your grow up and go for the next obstacle.

In my case, I’m a very romantic person. I fell in love twice… like, true love. But I’ve been never been loved back. They weren’t even gay. I’ve been in search of a BF since I can remember but I’ve never came accross with someone who made me feel something as special as to start a relationship.

Then, I became aware of the pleasure of males company. I said to myself: “maybe I should take some rest from chasing love and begin enjoying the art of getting laid”. Contrary to why I thought, it went all wrong. At first I didn’t feel sure about myself AT ALL. But when I did, I realised most of the men I met  out there are not.

So here I am. I’m wondering which could possibly be the next strategy, or thought, or whatever. Lately, I’ve been of the thought that sex is just a basic animal instinct which most important principle is to make you constantly unsatisfied. No matter how often or with how many people you get laid, you always want some more.

So, it might be time to wear the nun clothes and see what happens?

I just feel very stupid writing about this, but I said to myself it’s gonna be worth if I get some feedback from you guys.

Thanks for reading

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I’m Still Being

19 Dec

And not only “being”, I’m existing big time. I’m sorry I haven’t written in a while but I’m a bit busy studying and being happy. Summer break begins un two days for me and then I’ll put some time on my blog. I’m so freaking excited!

Love you all

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“It takes a long time t…

19 Dec

“It takes a long time to become young”

Any Title You’d Like

21 Nov

When it comes to writing for me there’s always a considerable gap between my on-the-go-redaction and when I finally get hands on the keyboard. It’s always so much better when it’s about the words going around my mind and getting shape in my mouth.

Today’s post is not exception. I’ve spent the two miles walk from the movies to my house talking to Ani on the first half and then the known catharsis talking to myself. Believe it or not, that’s a great problem solving technique. When it comes to me it’s not about using the technique, but it just comes from my subconcious.

Brief words is what I’ll try to obey the most now. This is a somehow weird situation. I’ll try to make myself clear. There’s this person. Yup, a guy. But hold on your thoughts. Those who know me, I don’t mean that kind of guy (not this time).

We’ve met in a pretty nice way, and we hang out a couple of times and it was really fun. We’ve talked, talked looong, I specially enjoy the good moments we shared. He’s a nice guy, and believe me, it’s sometimes hard when you are gay to determine your feelings for somebody in a sense that you enjoy a good friendship rather than trying to go a little beyond the line. In this case, I found him interesting, but I still think he’s a lot worth as a friend.

But as long as that happened through my mind, this guy began taking distance from me, til the point in which he won’t talk to me AT ALL. He won’t reply my last texts, or pick up my calls, or Twitter messages, or anything. But he stills read me on (or that’s what I see on my followers lists), he stills have me on his friends on Facebook and so on.

But I also thought, why should I feel so worried about somebody who you barely know? I’m not sure. I’ve got to know a small part of this person, and I can tell it was one that it’s really good. Should I think he thinks the opposite about me? Honestly, I’m not taking it personal. I know this dude has a hard time in his personal life, a quite tough one.

I’ve tried to making contact with him, but being a stalker is not really cool. If I was the way I used to be before, I might be trying to stick around, being loud and make him notice I’m here. But nope, instead I’m here trying to tell to myself it’s his choice but the issue stills go around my head.

I think this gets a little twisted. The worst is that I’ll keep the same as long as he doesn’t even do anything so that I can be angry. Therefore, I think I will just still have in my mind that brief friendship we once had.

Why Don’t You Meditate?

13 Nov

 

Hello folks! How have you been? Today I’m back in english (yeeeeah) to talk to you about this great experience I’ve been having in the last three months which had an inflection point at this Yoga Rave fest yesterday night. Believe me, it was insane and smoke-free, drugs-free and alcohol-free. I know, probably 120% of you would say “fuuuun” but the thing about this parties is that fun doesn’t depend on where you are at, or what do you drink or what do you smoke, but within you. Meditation will help you to unlock this great skill called “being happy with your life no matter what”.

 

I guess the title states quite a lot: meditation. Now for most some of you it might sounds as it did for me at the begining: nothing but superstitious shit. Or maybe something religious. But believe that as an atheist, this has nothing to do with with that.

But to explain it better, and supported by the glorious 21st century internet, I’ll give you two great videos that will tell you everything about it, and if you feel interested about it, please take a look at The Art of Living website. Enjoy!

Darle Sentido A Las Cosas

3 Nov

Aloha tout le monde! Si si, primer post en español y esto se debe a las razones antes mencionadas.

Ok, muchos de ustedes se deben estar enterando que tengo un blog. El sentido de este blog, si leen en su primogénito post era el de tener un espacio para practicar inglés y tambinén por que no, tratar los temas que generaban polémica en mi vida. Así hablé de la homosexualidad, la religión, la familia, el vegetarianismo entre varios otros. No se mal acostumbren! voy a seguir escribiendo en inglés (y en español).

Vamos a la orden del día. En verdad, no me convence aún el título, no encontré algo que abarcara todo eso que quiero contar. Todo el que me conoce personalmente, medianamente sabe sobre mis gustos o mas aún, sobre lo que me apasiona. Y por pasión me refiero a esas cosas que podes hablar, hacer o mejorar 24 horas al día y lejos de cansarte, te energizan.

No les pasó, estar a la deriva? estar viviendo por que el presente es inevitable? (hasta dejar de vivir lleva trabajo). Por suerte te

Pero esa pasión, ese deseo mas o menos objetivo, es suficiente? Como toda meta o punto de llegada, necesita de un plan. Planes de viajes, cosas que todos los días ejercito (sino pregunten a mi familia). Esta forma de “sueño” como dicen muchos, lejos está de ser desalentadora: los obstáculos ponen a prueba nuestros objetivos (vale tanto la pena?). Cada vez que se me instala en la mente un lugar (cualquier punto remoto en el planeta) tengo los recursos para saber que hay ahí para hacer, como llegar, que es mas barato, alojamiento, comidas, seguridad etc etc y mas etc.ngo muchas pasiones, entre ellas… cha cha chaan… VIAJAR. Y dirán: “que genio, a quien no?” Bien, acá está la diferencia entre pasión y querer algo, o desear algo. Para mi viajar es una pasión. Significa que voy a “sacrificar” mas cosas por ello que el promedio de la gente que solo lo “desea”. Para que vean que no hablo al pepe, algunos de ustedes sabrán que ahorré durante dos años para poder irme a trabajar a USA en el verano. Al ser estudiante, solo me quedaba salir menos (o gastar menos en salir mejor dicho), comprarme cosas mas baratas y así.

La cuestión espinal que mas de uno se preguntará: “que tiene de apasionante viajar?” El grueso de la población lo asocian a un periodo de tiempo donde uno está en un lugar poco conocido, donde no tenemos que trabajar y mas bien una pequeña pila de dinero (extranjero o no) para gastar como nos plazca. Tal vez estos sean los motivos que mas desmotivan a la gente de concretar viajes. Para mi, no son el tipo de viaje que me apasionan.

Al respecto hay muchísimo que hablar, pero creo que todo está muy bien cubierto por esta nota (en inglés) del grandioso sitio  roundtheworldticket.com. Pueden usar el traductor de páginas de Google para el que dude de su inglés.

 

 

Antes de despedir esta pauperrima nota (pero experimento piloto) quiero mostrarles algo. Una de mis técnicas de ahorro consiste
en poner todas las monedas que caigan en mi mano y billetes de bajo valor (dos pesos está bien?) en esta lata. Periódicamente cuento esa plata y la cambio por billetes grandes y la depósito o compro moneda extranjera. Esta vez, para motivarme mas, identifiqué el ahorro con el/los objetivo/s. Sepan decirme ustedes!


Saludos para todos, buena semana y comenten! Au revoir.